Damn Phone

pexels-photoMy life seems to be separated into different segments. All very distinct and tucked away – yet intermingled and combined making the collective me you see before you today. My medical records say I’m a “complex case”, “interesting”, “bit of an enigma”. Frankly, I think the problem is that I’ve got a headache.

Things were different before the “diagnosis”. I could disappear for a couple of hours, go to the movies alone, the beach alone, a leisurely drive – it was no big deal. Now, every time the phone rings I’ve got to answer it or the Calvary comes calling. Can’t go anywhere alone, not supposed to drive. The “damn phone” (which I’ve now affectionately named it) is glued to my hip I’ve never liked talking on the phone to begin with – now I’m on the damn phone all the time. Thanks the heavens for texting, it’s my only solace.

Snuck out of my own house this morning. Was relatively easy as no one was home! No one would call me this early, they think I’m sleeping or asleep themselves. Got in my car and drove my badass self to Starbucks for coffee and a muffin. It was nice, freeing and felt normal for a change. No one knew where I was – didn’t have to report in to anyone – I was on my own!

Seven-thirty in the morning…there were a few early birds there reading the paper, sipping coffee, old men trading stories and complaining about the lawn people making so much noise even before God was up. The birds were chirping and hopping about looking for crumbs. It was peaceful and serene. Then I hear one of the old men say to his friend while pointing at me, “Does she know she’s in our spot?” I looked at them and smiled. They responded in like and cheerfully said “Good Morning”. ¬†Without missing a beat they continued their Medicare bashing conversation.

That’s when the phone rang. Shit!

“Hello”

“Hey, where are you?”, my brother said.

“I’m in Jamaica smoking hash with the natives.” (Giggles erupted from the natives’)

“I’m serious, Sis. I called the house. Where are you?”

“What makes you think I’m not serious?” (At this point I got a thumbs up from one of the natives who looked like he smoked plenty of hash in his heyday.)

“Whatever. We are coming to see you today.”

“Listen, I don’t want any company and I don’t want to talk anymore.”

“Sis, I’m not company.”

“Uh-huh. Well, I don’t want to see anyone, I’m tired and relaxing.”

“Ok. Fine. Call me later.”

“I will. I gotta go now. The bong is heading my way. Bye.”

So much for a serene calm morning. Morning has broken. Traffic picking up, getting hotter and more humid out here. Guess it’s time to head back indoors where it’s cooler and safe.

The natives are getting restless. Damn phone.

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